Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?