It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
