New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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