i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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