A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
