Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
