Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
