imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
