I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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