If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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