We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
