Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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