Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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