i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
be right there i have to get my cape
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
