I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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