I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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