Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize