Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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