Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
