God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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