Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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