imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she peed on how many people?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
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