I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
