that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
