is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize