It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's always time for handjobs
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
