oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
babies were throwing up all over the place
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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