I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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