walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
