I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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