never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize