awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
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It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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