what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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