I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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