don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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