she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
