It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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