Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
