I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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