I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
