I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize