That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
