So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
