Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
