dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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