One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize