Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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