I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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