what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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