There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
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No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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