I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
