You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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