Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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