we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
