I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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