it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
