this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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