hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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