I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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